Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012.
I decided it wasn’t fair for Yeti Vedder to have all the bullet-point fun, so I reckon I’ll join in on the fad with some random observations.
What will you find in this weekly list? I have no freaking clue, but I’m sure it will all be deep and profound.
* Hey Gillette, no guy in the history of the world has ever patted his face after shaving. We’d rather stick it in the freezer.
* Somebody needs to come up with a way to convey sarcasm over the Internet. There are A LOT of stupid people out there who miss the point more times than not (that’s reality — not sarcasm). Random observations are usually lost on these people.
* At some point in my life, I want to run for a place in politics just so my opponent can dig up dirt and attack me in outrageously irrelevant ads. I can see it now:
“Gregg Lavoie picked his nose in 3rd-grade social studies class. Do you really want to vote for a nose-picker?”
“Mr. Lavoie – remember when you fought your own friends during a wiffleball game? How can we trust you in office when we can’t even trust you on the wiffleball field?”
“Gregg Lavoie once egged a car driving down the street. If we vote him in, who’s to say he won’t egg us too?!”
* Last night, I had a wonderful dream that involved Lucky Charms cereal. I was enjoying an enormous bowl of them and was chowing down when some moron asked, “Do you try to save all the marshmallows until the end?”
Obviously I do. I’m not an idiot. To finish the story, I was bummed when I woke up and discovered we only had Cocoa Krispies in the cupboard. Yes, I’m a 28-year old and I still get upset about cereal choices.
* I had to start Ryan Tannehill at quarterback one week in Fantasy Football. One simple emoticon sums up my random observations and how I feel about that 🙁
* Why do the Jackass movies get huge theater premieres, while you don’t even hear anything about the Nitro Circus movie? I’d much rather watch Travis Pastrana and the Nitro Circus boys.
* Banger of the Week: Our Work of Art by Just Surrender