FifthPeriodLunch.com

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012.

Party Guys — New England style!

Every athlete aspires to be a world champion. They want to hoist the Lombardi Trophy up in the air. They want David Stern to present them with the Larry O’Brien Championship Trophy. They want to drink from Lord Stanley’s Cup! Then they want to drink from every other cup they possibly can. You should always win like a team and the party like one! Party guys are the most fun to root for — when they’re winning — because you know you’ll see them at the bars later with the fans.

That was one of the reasons New England fell in love with the 2011 Boston Bruins team. They won the Cup and then partied for like 90 straight days up and down the New England coast! One night at Foxwoods, the next night they’d be partying up and down Lansdowne Street. Everywhere they went, people bought them drinks and ladies threw themselves at them. No one TMZ’d their ass because they were too busy celebrating with them!

I love the athlete that knows how to party with the fans. It shows that all the money has not gone to their head. It shows that they can still let loose and throw back a few with the people that made them who they are. It was how Jonathan Papelbon became so popular in Boston. Sure, he was a great closer, but he was great as one of the party guys. When he won he would dance and pound beers and everyone would laugh, sing, and have a blast. This was way before the dark period of chicken and beer! GASP!!!

Rob Gronkowski has created a whole new beast mode when it comes to an athlete among the party guys. You can’t be at a bar in Massachusetts or Rhode Island without getting a text message from one of your friends that says they just saw Gronk out and about. Gronk isn’t always smashed either. He just enjoys the bar scene with hundreds of girls that think he is the best thing this side of the Mississippi. Wouldn’t any guy his age do the SAME exact thing? I know I would!

We have numerous writers for this blog from all over the country and I want them all to make a list of the top 7 party guys in sports they want to hang out with. I could say I want to party with Kobe Bryant, but the chances I would ever see Kobe out in public are slim to none. So I will stick to New England.

Hopefully, David Gonos will give Florida some love. We have writers from Cali, Cleveland, and New York. I want every aspect of partying included! The Wingman, The Boozehound, The Fighter, The Lover, the Godfather!!! I want it all included!!! We should have a who’s who of party guys by the time this is all said and done, but let me start it up for you with number 7.

P.S. If Gonos doesn’t take Wade Boggs, he can gladly join the New England team!

BUT here is my squad of great party guys I want to hang with!

My Seven Party Guys

7. Oil Can Boyd

This night of partying could be WAAAY more than you bargained for. The Can isn’t the biggest name in New England sports history, but Oil Can Boyd can party with the best of them. As you know, he wrote a book about how he used to pitch stoned off his ass on weed, coke, and booze. I am simply a booze man myself, but I can see how Oil Can could be the life of a party. By life of the party, I mean a guy that stays at the party for three days!

6. Brad Marchand

What is the point of partying if you don’t have the little friend that can party like a rock star and also get under people’s skin? Marshmond himself is forever a Boston party legend. Rumor has it that after the Bruins won the cup he went on a 72-hour bender! That is insane!!!

Best part about Marchand is he is slowly turning into one of the NHL’s best scorers, and he can party with the best of them, which makes him that much easier to cheer for.

5. Rick Pitino

I know you are all thinking, WHAT!?! Pitino coaches at Louisville! Pitino might be the governor of Kentucky, but he is the king of Providence, Rhode Island. He is the only former college coach I have ever seen come back to Providence and get a standing ovation. Everywhere Pitino goes in Providence it is on the house. So I would go to dinner and drinks with Rick and be the co-king for a day.

4.Dustin Pedroia

We have all seen the pictures of Lil’ Dusty behind the bar serving Boston Red Sox fans after they won it all. He kept bars open past curfew and he is right up there with Marchand as the tiny fella that gets under your skin, but plays his heart out. Dusty can party with the Yeti any day of the week! Maybe I just want to party with party guys that I can put in a Baby Bjorn?

3. Marvin Hagler

I have partied with Marvin Hagler in North Conway, New Hampshire. We didn’t actually party with him, but I was sitting at a table with five or six people and I saw him sitting at the bar. I looked at the bartender, who will know all, and asked if that was Marvin Hagler. She said yes and asked if we’d like to meet him. I said no, I just wanted confirmation it was him, but Marvelous Marvin must have heard us and came over to our table and shook everyone’s hand.

Four out of seven people had no idea who this guy was, so it was quite an awkward exchange. It made me realize that Marvelous Marvin is an AMAZING wingman. He will literally go up to people that have no idea who he is and spark up a conversation. So Hagler is definitely on my squad. Oh yeah, it’s cool to have him for fighting reasons too!

2. Tyler Seguin

Chicks love this dude. They absolutely LOVE him. He just turned 21, so he is still able to go talk to college girls and make me seem way less creepy. Maybe I’m just his cool older brother? Who am I fooling? … Nobody! But it is fun to pretend!

1. Rob Gronkowski

Ron Gronkowski, Party Guys

Like you didn’t see this coming in paragraph two!

The kid knows how to do it! All-Pro? CHECK! Big pay day? CHECK! Party dance moves? CHECK! Porn stars? CHECK! Regular hot chicks that won’t give me STD’s (as far as I know) CHECK!

Gronk would be No. 1 on any city’s list because EVERYONE wants to party with this dude! Anyone that says they wouldn’t is a liar!

Notice how there are no Celtics on this list? First of all, it is because most of them are like 60! It  is not just because I am a Lakers fan, but because there is no one I want to party with on that team.

Brian Scalabrine maybe? Larry Bird, definitely! But they are not in my top 7.

Honorable mention to Spaceman Bill Lee, but like I said … I am simply a booze man!

Are there some party guys in the New England area that I’m missing out on?

Related posts:

The Few, The Proud, The Rowdy
Wanna’ Get Away?
30 Great Shots To Drink Before Performing Surgery

Leave a Reply

5PL On Facebook

Subscribe!

Enter your email address to follow Fifth Period Lunch and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Do it... do it now!