Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012.
I recently wrote an article for GuySpeed.com about “5 Fascinating Nuggets of Truth You Didn’t Know About Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups,” and I came across a ton of great info.
As you’ll recall, in my “Best Candy Bars Ever Mock Draft,” the Peanut Butter Cup dropped all the way to sixth in a shocking Aaron Rodgers-like freefall.
I explain the drop more because it’s not really so much of a candy bar as it is two separate snacks. Now, if they created a long Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup candy bar, then maybe that would rank higher. But since it’s a candy bar mock draft, I had to penalize it. It’s sort of like Larry Centers – a fullback that doesn’t run much, but is really good in the passing game. Where do you rank that guy?
I found out there were like a dozen different forms of the cup itself, including size, flavors and type of peanut butter cup. And there were like 20 different variations of the brand itself, in candy bars, pieces, minis, ice cream and cereal.
So then it made me think of five suggestions for new forms of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup:
Two HUGE Peanut Butter Cups, preferably with a Hershey’s Kiss in the middle of each. D-Cups are almost never a bad idea, unless they are your grandmother’s. Then it’s a very, very bad idea.
Suck it, Nutella.
No idea how you can make this, but I’m guessing you’d have over 3.3 million Americans clamoring for them in the grocery store. If you can’t create that, then maybe work on an EpiPen Highlighter – multi-tasking, baby!
But rather than just an Oreo with peanut butter cream in the middle, keep the Oreo cream. And keep one chocolate cookie side, and on the other side, have a peanut butter cookie (sort of like the cookie part of Nutter Butters).
Yeah, I know this is a horrible idea, but it gives me a chance to talk about one of my favorite jokes from “The Simpsons,” when they talk about bad marketing ideas and they show a can that says, “Nuts and Gum! Together at last!” There’s even a Tumblr blog devoted to it!