FifthPeriodLunch.com

Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012.

5 Ideas For the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups Company

I recently wrote an article for GuySpeed.com about “5 Fascinating Nuggets of Truth You Didn’t Know About Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups,” and I came across a ton of great info.

As you’ll recall, in my “Best Candy Bars Ever Mock Draft,” the Peanut Butter Cup dropped all the way to sixth in a shocking Aaron Rodgers-like freefall.

I explain the drop more because it’s not really so much of a candy bar as it is two separate snacks. Now, if they created a long Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup candy bar, then maybe that would rank higher. But since it’s a candy bar mock draft, I had to penalize it. It’s sort of like Larry Centers – a fullback that doesn’t run much, but is really good in the passing game. Where do you rank that guy?

The Many Forms of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup

I found out there were like a dozen different forms of the cup itself, including size, flavors and type of peanut butter cup. And there were like 20 different variations of the brand itself, in candy bars, pieces, minis, ice cream and cereal.

So then it made me think of five suggestions for new forms of the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup:

1. Peanut Butter D-Cups

Two HUGE Peanut Butter Cups, preferably with a Hershey’s Kiss in the middle of each. D-Cups are almost never a bad idea, unless they are your grandmother’s. Then it’s a very, very bad idea.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Nipples

These peanut butter cookies have the right idea.

2. Jar of Peanut Butter & Chocolate Spread

Suck it, Nutella.

3. Peanut-Allergy-Free Peanut Butter Cups

No idea how you can make this, but I’m guessing you’d have over 3.3 million Americans clamoring for them in the grocery store. If you can’t create that, then maybe work on an EpiPen Highlighter – multi-tasking, baby!
Chad-Reese's Peanut Butter Cups

4. Reese’s Oreos

But rather than just an Oreo with peanut butter cream in the middle, keep the Oreo cream. And keep one chocolate cookie side, and on the other side, have a peanut butter cookie (sort of like the cookie part of Nutter Butters).

5. Reese’s Gum

Yeah, I know this is a horrible idea, but it gives me a chance to talk about one of my favorite jokes from “The Simpsons,” when they talk about bad marketing ideas and they show a can that says, “Nuts and Gum! Together at last!” There’s even a Tumblr blog devoted to it!

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Nuts and Gum
Any ideas for the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups company? I’m sure they’re listening. I’m sure of it!

Related posts:

Burning Bucks, Not Calories
5 Most Fantastic Fart Foods Ever
Great Ballpark Foods From Around MLB on Opening Day

Leave a Reply

5PL On Facebook

Subscribe!

Enter your email address to follow Fifth Period Lunch and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Do it... do it now!