Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012.
Growing up, my parents gave me a nickname: Esmeralda.
Yes, like the Disney character. They still sometimes call me by that name and I’m 26 years old.
My parents even bought me a Barbie-type doll of her way back when. The other day, I found the doll and I was thinking that you don’t see much of her anymore. I was wondering why she isn’t on any of the Disney Princess merchandise.
As it turns out, it’s because she’s not a princess.
She’s just a gypsy slut.
She’s the only outwardly sexual female Disney character. They even designed her personality and mannerisms to give off the vibe that she’s “been around.”
She works as a dancer/street performer, which pretty much means she dances like a stripper but doesn’t take her clothes off. In the movie “The Hunchback of Notre Dame,” she even dances whoreishly around a pole.
I’m not much of a Disney fan, so there isn’t some huge part of me that’s traumatized or anything, but what the hell, man? What do my parents think of me?