Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012.
So recently, “Girls Gone Wild” filed for bankruptcy and as I solemnly put my clothes back on and walked out of an empty trailer it occurred to me — “If this ingenious franchise can go bankrupt, what the f*ck chance do I have at success!?!”
We’ve all heard the stories. Millionaire athlete or movie star files for bankruptcy, forced to sell one of their five homes, gets reality show to make money, but the show inevitably fails because they’re not as entertaining in real life as they were on the field, court, or big screen.
It’s not hard to understand how these people went from wiping their asses with hundred dollar bills to ravaging their couches to find spare change after a bankruptcy. Money has a habit of burning a hole in your pocket and it’s hard to resist that burn, especially when you’ve never had the means to buy all the things you’ve wanted before.
“Well, I could save some of this money, or I can go buy all those exotic cars I’ve always wanted.”
I can’t pretend like I wouldn’t do the same thing.
Any time I have extra cash, I always mean to put it away but then I end up buying a bunch of unnecessary shit. No one needs 25 pairs of Chuck Taylors. Which reminds me, I need to unsubscribe from the Converse mailing list – but I digress.
My point is, it’s much easier to spend money than it is to save it. And when you don’t have someone smarter and more logical than you advising you on how to properly allocate your funds, you end up in bankruptcy, and on an “ESPN 30 for 30,” sitting in a chair reminiscing on the times when you were eating steak and lobster every night, choking back your tears because you know you’re going home to an empty studio apartment with nothing but Pop Tarts in your pantry.
And not the real Pop Tarts, either – you’re eating Fruit Pockets, my friend.
Being an athlete or an actor doesn’t last forever. You get old, you get hurt, you get ugly and you get the axe. You need a backup plan and no matter what plan that is, it’s definitely going to involve money, so keep that in mind before you buy that third Lamborghini.
Now, how much do you think I can get for this “Girls Gone Wild” t-shirt?