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The Trouble with Sleep

I heart sleep, which gives me some trouble with sleep.

If sleep was a hot chick, I would definitely cheat on my wife with her. That’s how much I love it.

Back in the day, all the way up through college, it wasn’t uncommon for me to stay in bed until 1 or 2 in the afternoon if I didn’t have anything going on.

Now that I’m older, it’s harder for me to stay in bed as long.

But I still heart sleep – as I’m sure most of you do.

So why is it that sleep poses the biggest catch-22 of them all?

Everybody and their mother is pushing this whole YOLO thing. You only live once, so don’t waste a minute of your life. You should, as they say, be doing something exciting every second of every minute of every day.

Well let’s do some simple math, shall we?

The average person works a 9-5 job – 40 hours a week. According to doctors/scientists, the average person should also get between 7-9 hours of sleep a night in order to stay healthy. That’s another 49-63 hours a week.

A week consists of… let me consult my abacus… ahhh yes, 168 hours.

So during any given week, the average person is sleeping anywhere from 29-38 percent of the time and working another 24 percent of the time.

That leaves us with just 38-47 percent of “free” time to… live.

It just seems fundamentally wrong to me.

Check out these graphs:

Most humans fall into the monophasic or biphasic categories.

Meanwhile, the three graphs on the right are called polyphasic sleep patterns – also known as the “sleep of genius” – which allots for a maximum five hours of sleep per day. It’s been said that Leonardo Da Vinci slept a maximum of two hours a day, spaced out in intervals of 10-20 minute naps. That means Da Vinci was awake for 92 percent of any given week, as opposed to 62-71 percent of the week.

My theory is this: We’re wasting valuable time sleeping. That’s some serious trouble with sleep!

Perhaps we’re supposed to follow a polyphasic sleep schedule for six days of the week and on Sundays – “the day of rest” – recharge our batteries (brains) with a normal 7-9 hour sleep.

Of course, this would require retraining the body – or else we’d all end up like Kramer.

Anyway, this trouble with sleep is something to think about…

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