Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012.
We have some enormous, gigantic… no, enorgantic news for all of you out there.
Fifth Period Lunch is having its first-ever auction! One of you lucky bidders out there, wait for it, is guaranteed to be blessed spiritually, physically and financially!
This is not a joke whatsoever. This is as legit as it gets!
You are bidding on a one-of-a-kind, unopened letter that will guarantee an improvement to your life! This holy letter arrived at our office today, but since our lives are already perfect, we decided to auction it off to our loyal readers!
Think of it as Jesus’ Clearinghouse – the dude is just giving away blessings, but you need to bid for them!
All you have to do is win and open the letter. All of your wildest dreams will then come true.
Please make checks payable to Fifth Period Lunch.