Trading carrots for chocolate pudding since 2012.
Dexter Morgan is America’s favorite serial killer. We know this. The producers made a conscious decision when they said, “A blood-spatter specialist that collects stamps just isn’t as interesting.”
And that has me thinking about all of the TV characters that were likely serial killers, but the cameras never followed them long enough for us to see the bodies stacked up like a cord of wood in their cellar.
Some of these TV characters were obviously demented killers, but there are a few in here you wouldn’t dream would be sociopathic murderers – until now.
NBC seems to build shows with these weird background characters that make us feel sorry for them/not want to be near them. While Gunther’s obsession with Rachel never led him to kill Ross, I did notice that we never saw Russ again (Ross’ doppelganger that dated Rachel one week). Russ was Gunther’s 32nd victim.
This one’s kind of a slam dunk. It’s just amazing to me that Barney makes it home alive each night, since you know Moe likely gets anonymous travelers a little tipsy before taking them home. Wait, Barney might be in on it now that I think about it.
Floyd has all the characteristics of a great sociopath. He’s fidgety, nervous and easily agitated, and I’m certain he takes home all of the hair clippings and glues them to skeletons in his attic.
Most would peg the sweater-and-slippers-wearing fella as a pedophile, but I like to think I can see more in a person. He’s such a slow moving character, he’s obviously setting his victims up for one of those vampire scenes where he turns his head, bares his teeth and the film clip speeds up four times faster as he pounces on his prey.
Is there a more typical serial killer than a building superintendent that has keys to every apartment and a claw hammer hanging around his belt? I think with the Romano girls, he was just playing a cat-and-mouse game, fattening up Barbara and starving Julie.
There aren’t many female serial killers, but there’s no doubt in my mind that Darlene grew up to be a Midwest “Monster.” And her family was obviously in on it, as they replaced their oldest daughter Becky, Darlene’s first kill, with some other girl they kidnapped for their game of death.
Psychopaths and sociopaths both lack a conscious, which certainly fits in line with Newman’s character traits. And the mailman thing is a pretty obvious tip for all of us to key on. A nod to “Son of Sam” David Berkowitz has never been funnier. (I refuse to believe that Cliff Claven was a serial killer, though. “Little known fact, there, Normy: Serial killers often have an above-average IQ!” That eliminates Cliffy.)
Rarely do you ever see these two with others, which makes me think a couple things:
1. Bert and Ernie aren’t two different people. They’re the same person.
2. The way these split personalities battle each other reminds me of “Fight Club.” I think Ernie is just an orange Tyler Durden for Bert.
“You know what really annoys me? Why did it take so long to invent zip ties? I mean, if they were around when I was a young man, I wouldn’t have taken all of those knot-tying courses. I also hate when a victim tries to run away from me, but inevitably falls down, allowing me to catch them again. Don’t they know I’ll catch them? Just sit still.”
It’s quite obvious if you take a step back. Is there a better way to be a serial killer than to be one that travels through time!?! And I won’t even get into his holographic best friend, Al, who is usually there to help tell him what his purpose is. The perfect imaginary friend that allows him to detach himself from unreasonable acts!?! Oh boy.
The polite, rich British bachelor that lives in a Manhattan high-rise is the last person you’d think was a killer – or the first!?!?! All those times that George Jefferson slammed the door in his face had to take its toll somehow. He had a bad back from carrying bodies, so George always had to walk on his back to work out the kinks. When the cops finally caught Mr. Bentley, the first question they asked was, “Why didn’t you kill Tom Willis!?!”
There aren’t many black serial killers, but when was the last time Carlton did something that was stereo-typically African-American? Rumors are that he murdered his victims while singing songs from the music catalog of Tom Jones.
I hope this look back at some TV characters that likely killed hundreds of imaginary people was entertaining. Are there any TV characters you think have a little Dexter in them?